Character Building: How To Parent A Resilient Comeback Kid

Have you ever been annoyed when a friend responded badly to your misfortune? Even well-meaning friends can let you down when they think they're picking you up.

3 Minimizing Responses that Irritate

1. Well at least...

2. It could have been worse.

3. That's nothing. You should have seen when I...

Friends think they're helping when they ignore your feelings. Their quick solutions to look on the bright side, failure to ask about your feelings, and eagerness to talk about their own problems can turn you off. Such replies put your children off too.

Let's say your daughter, Mari, is upset because her classmate revealed to her teacher that Mari didn't like her. Now your daughter is afraid her teacher will react badly.

3 Parenting Tips that Soothe

1. I'm sorry that happened.

2. How are you feeling about it?

3. Tell me more.

These responses work because of your willingness to go to Mari's feelings. By building a bridge-of-caring your child can more easily bounce back because she knows you understand. She might even figure out how to make a bad situation better. Without it she could remain stuck in her sad, angry, or anxious thoughts.

How to Model Resilience

Share a problem of your own. Then prompt your children for their empathy and solutions on how you might recover and move ahead.

A Sample Dilemma to Share with Kids

Perhaps you forgot your wallet at the gas pump. Your tank is almost empty. You see a line of cars waiting for you to hurry up. You ask the person behind you for help. She puts a few gallons for you on her bill.

At the dinner table ask for your children's empathy, "How do you think I felt?" Compliment them for understanding your feelings. Then ask, "What would you have done?" Appreciate their solutions. Find out if they learned anything positive from your predicament. Perhaps they'll say:

1. People can be kind.

2. Asking for help gives the other person the opportunity to do a good deed.

3. It makes me want to be helpful too.

By sharing your dilemmas and asking your children to look for positive outcomes, you're teaching them how to find opportunities in problems. This is the opposite of giving up. This is bouncing back.

The 4-Step Resilience Solution:

1. Go to feelings.

2. Listen well.

3. Brainstorm solutions.

4. Look for the positive results.

Conclusion: The Character Building Answer for Resilience

Experience shows that life is not a smooth ride. There will always be challenges to conquer. As a parent, you want your children to face their trials with flexibility and spirit.

Give kids the caring they need for their problems. Let them know you understand. Listen well. Ask for their solutions. Help them find the positives resulting from their troubles.

To move the process forward share your own challenges, get their empathy, answers, and vision on how to create opportunities out of difficulties. If you do, you'll be teaching them how to be resilient 'Comeback Kids' and building character too.


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Pick Right Baby Names and Cherish It for the Rest of Your Life

A baby is considered as pure joy by parents. Having a baby is like being in heaven. A baby can provide you so many blissful moments that you would love to cherish for the rest of your life. In fact, life has no meaning without it. A baby is truly celebration of womanhood. When a woman gets married, she plans for a baby in the first year of marriage or later on. As a baby plays an important role in the lives of a couple, the naming of baby is also given due importance. Sometimes, would-be parents choose the name for their baby before delivery and sometimes they pick names for their baby after delivery. Without any doubt, it can be said that naming of baby is a joyful task and each and every member of the family loved to get involved in this act. It has been observed that would-be parents pick both boy names and girl names from various baby naming sites and then they choose a name based on their meaning. Both parents should play their role in choosing a right name for their baby. They should both sit down and pick names they like and also those names they dislike. The meaning of the names should be given due importance and then a name should be picked to avoid embarrassment. An important point to note is that proper discussion helps both parents to decide on a name that they would both enjoy calling their baby.

There have been instances where one parent is allowed to choose the first name and the other parent is asked to choose the middle name. Both would-be parents should mutually agree on the spelling of the name before the baby is born, to avoid the risk of mistakes on the child's birth certificate. If you are a would-be parent, you can log onto any popular site to pick the right name for your baby. It does not matter if you are from different part of the world or belief in different faith, you will be pleased to know that a popular baby site has baby names for all regions and faiths. You can find a lot of suggestions for first and middle name pairings, get lists of the names in alphabetical order, and also find out which baby names were really popular in a particular year, or even filter names by their meaning or origin. If you are a first time father, you can browse through any noted baby naming site with your spouse and openly discuss each of your favorite names for the gender of your baby. If you are unsure of the gender, write a list of favorite names for both to compare with one another after the birth of the baby. If you still cannot come up with a list of baby girl names or boy names, you can take the help of a book also. When you decide to name your baby, keep one thing in mind that a name should be easy to pronounce and right for every age. Some though endearing at a young age may not fit when the child becomes an adult. Some countries keep a tradition of granting would-be parents three months time to decide a name for their child. It gives ample time for parents to study the features and habits of their baby, so that they can choose a right name. So, pick a baby name that will please your heart and also have the right kind of meaning.

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Poisons - Providing A Safe Home For Children

Could you save a life?

Recently while presenting a "one day" first aid course, a class member told a story about her child, and speed at which they can get into danger. We were discussing poisons and what our actions will be as a first aider. This mother advised the class on this occasion she was about to administer medicine to her child and in the time she turned to grab the medicine measuring glass her child had grabbed the open medicine bottle and drank the entire contents. This entire process was less than two seconds!


A toddle or small child can't help putting interesting objects into the month – they are programmed to do it!

Speaking with a nurse friend of mine who works the emergency department at a hospital in Brisbane, I was told parent's and grandparent's prescription medicines produce the most severe poisoning's. Dishwashing powder and other common household cleaners cause the most horrific burns to a child airway/food pipe. Petrol, turps and kerosene are responsible for the largest number of admissions to hospital.

All medicines, cleaners and chemicals should be locked in a child-resistant cupboard. Remember that height alone is not adequate because toddlers can climb to ceiling height with the aid of chairs and benches.


Some addition tips on safe guarding our toddlers are:

Insist on child-resistant containers for medicines and pills
Never empty tablets/pills into a dish or container on or in a bedside table
Check the used by dates on medicine and dispose of them correctly – take them back to the chemist for disposal.
Make sure all bottles and containers are labelled clearly
Never keep poisonous substances in soft drink or other drinking bottles that our children are familiar with.
Food poisoning – contaminated food is not always identifiable by taste, smell or appearance. However, avoid any food which does not taste or smell as it should
Attend a CPR and First Aid training course – Could you save a life?


First Aid Treatment

Look around and gather possible clues to what is the source of poisoning
Perform DRABCD if unconscious (Care for life threatening conditions)
If conscious - ask questions to gather additional information
Look for containers and take them with you to the telephone - Call the Poisons information Centre 13 11 26 and follow their directions.
If you cannot ascertain the source call 000/112
 Do not give the casualty anything to drink unless instructed to do so.

While waiting for assistance, either from doctor or ambulance, observe the child closely to detect any change in the conscious state. If unconscious, turn the child on their side, keep their airway clear and check that they are breathing, (Look; Listen & Feel). If breathing stops, perform DRABCD

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Baby Clothing You Should Get For The Baby

Congrats, you are going to have a baby! You will need lots of things for the baby. And now let the checklist making start. You want to make a couple of lists, one will be necessities that you will wish to get, along with a second list for objects that will go on your registry for the baby shower gifts you would really like to receive. Do not feel guilty about the second list. Friends and relatives want to celebrate the upcoming birth of your baby, and most wish to help you prepare by giving you baby gifts. Assist them by letting them know what you really require and want. So let�s go over the things that ought to be in your necessities list.

Clothing is the first thing for the �must have� checklist. And honestly who can resist all of those sweet little outfits, but remember that babies develop quickly so don�t buy a lot of those -3 month size, and baby clothes shouldn�t be tight fitting. Also resist the urge to purchase a lot of those little socks and booties, they're adorable, however the child won't be in them long.

So what should you purchase? Let�s begin with the basics; each and every child needs onsies and bodysuits. Because this really is an everyday item you want to have 7- 12 on hand. The reason I recommend so many is that infants do get messy, so you may need a couple of every single day. Secondly those first couple of weeks at home with baby can be extremely hectic and you might not get a chance to do the laundry as often as you would like.

You need clothes for child that makes your life easier and gowns do just that. Gowns are wonderful for nighttime. Those overnight feedings and diaper changes could be a bit groggy and gowns will assist with those diaper changes. Gowns supply easy access and a great deal less fumbling. You will want seven of these on hand. Infants grow out of gowns quickly so you want to possess sleepers are on hand. Simply because you will find so several fairly sleepers available these days many moms have infants in sleepers all day long. With this in mind you will want to have a dozen of those on hand.

You see many things come and go when it comes to what is used for infants, but some thing never change and baby bibs are one of those things. Some days it'll appear much more is coming out of baby�s mouth than is heading in. Bibs help to maintain your baby clean. You want a least a dozen of baby bibs on hand and this really is 1 thing you should not worry about having too many of, you will be amazed how many bibs you'll use throughout the course of a week. One more thing to include on your must have checklist is those adorable newborn hats. These hats will help baby keep warm, and they look so cute.

There are many other things that you will want to purchase, but the above will get you started. You will purchase and obtain many adorable outfits for the new child, the best advice I can give you would be to wear them on your child. Several new moms save outfits for special occasions, only to have baby grow out of them before they had been ever worn. There will be a time soon enough when your little 1 will be vocal about what they want to put on, so take the time now to dress them how you please.

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What We Can Do About Bullying - A Parents Guide

Previously, we looked at the serious aftereffects that bullying could have on our children. The aftereffects can be serious, which is why parents need to understand how to address bullying. Parents can help their children learn important strategies that can help them stop or prevent bullying. Some of the best strategies for parents can include getting involved more with their children, supporting children who have become victims of bullies and raising awareness of this problem. If you are looking for more answers to help you address bullying with your children, here are more helpful tips and ideas for parents that can help stop or prevent bullying in the future.

Know the Symptoms
One of the best things parents can do to help prevent or stop bullying is to know the symptoms of bullying. In most cases, children will not come right out and tell their parents that they are being bullied. In many cases, they are afraid to break the silence, which is why parents need to take the time to know the symptoms that may clue them in that their child is being bullied. Some of the common symptoms of bullying include: anxiety, vague physical problems like stomaches and headaches, fearfulness, sudden dislike of school, feeling sick on school days, damaged belongings, unexplained bruises and nightmares.

Talking to Your Child
If you do notice that your child is displaying some of the symptoms of bullying, it is important to talk to your child. However, an indirect approach usually works best for most children. Instead of asking outright about bullying, try talking to your child about school, their friends, how they spend their time at lunch or how things are going on the school bus. You may also want to ask your child whether they have noticed if there are any bullies at school. They don't have to admit to being bullied right away to answer this question. The next step is to simply listen to your child. Give them time to talk to you about how things are going at school. If they talk to you about bullying, work on listening and understanding. Avoid showing anger or distress.

Become an Advocate
Another thing parents can do to deal with bullying is to become an advocate for their child at school or any other place their child is being bullied. If the bullying is occurring at school, get involved, talking with your child's teach and the authorities at school to help address the problem quickly. Make sure that the school authorities are made aware of the bullying problem and be sure to keep your own written records of any bullying incidents, meetings you have had with teachers or meetings with other school officials.

Other Solutions
Of course, there are other solutions you can use to help deal with bullying as well. Safety training workshops can often be used at schools to help teach kids about nonviolent ways to resolve conflicts. Enrolling children in martial arts programs is another excellent idea. Martial Arts programs help to teach kids ways to deal with conflicts, they can help improve a child's self-esteem and work to build up self-confidence in kids as well. Some parents avoid martial arts programs because they think they focus on violence. This is not the case. Martial Arts training focuses on teaching children the skills they need to avoid conflict in the first place, which is important for children who may face problems with bullying at school or in other places.

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Making Smarter Babies

Research on early baby and child development is clear: parents have the ability to influence their childrenâEUR(TM)s intelligence, brain development and even IQ.

Classic research on babies and young toddlers shows that stimulating interactions INCREASE IQ and lack of interaction actually DECREASES IQ. One of the most widely accepted academic studies of the 20th century (Skeels & Dye, 1939) demonstrates how critically important EARLY stimulating interactions are on babies and young toddlers. They found that orphaned infants and young children who were moved to a more stimulating environment actually saw gains in IQ and academic success in later life; while the children who were left in a less enriching environment actually saw decreases in IQ. We can apply this concept to our daily interactions with our babies: build a more enriching environment for your baby and help him improve his brain development. Simple, but very few parents realize how critically it applies during the first 12 months of life.

Another key research study (Hart & Risley, 1995) details that the way parents speak to kids significantly impacts IQ, literacy, and academic success later in life. (one of the 10 basic principles of Innovate Your Baby is to talk to your baby in his language and yours.) Basically, parents who talk to their kids from infancy raise children with more developed vocabularies, language skills, and more academic success. Just by the simple act of talking. This does not really take any additional time for a parent and pays huge dividends. Many parents would talk more to their babies if they only realized the impact this simple act could have for the rest of their childâEUR(TM)s life.

None of this information is new. Skeels and Dye was conducted in 1939 and Hart and Risley did their work over 16 years ago. We have known for years, even decades, that how we interact with our babies makes a profound difference over the course of their lives. So why arenâEUR(TM)t we doing more to help our kids develop more effectively? I believe the answer is that most parents simply donâEUR(TM)t know about the very easy ways they can help develop their babiesâEUR(TM) brains and intelligence. Many parents hear about flash cards, baby genius videos and the latest boutique day care or preschool and think these things will give their child an advantage. Maybe so. Maybe not. What has been proven for decades is that the parents (and grandparents and caregivers) themselves can actually give their child experiences that increase intelligence and IQ. And it is EASY. Scientific research on baby development and the impact of stimulating activities during the early years is undebatable. The experts agree, and their research backs it up, that parents can significantly influence their childrenâEUR(TM)s intelligence, vocabulary, language development and even IQ through their early interactions even from the first day of life.

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The Importance of Play in a Child's Life

It's true that education is like a building block for a child's future. All parents dream for a better career for their child's life. Everybody wants their child to be doctor, engineer and wants to see them in high posts. In this cut throat competition children get pressurize with their activities to the extent that they don;t get spare time for their own entertainment. Teachers also keep the child busy during the holidays by giving them assignments and homework. Earlier children used to play with their siblings. So, the children easily got a play environment at the home. However, now the time spent by children in playing was very less as compared to the past two decades. Parents should understand that play is an important activity and they should not deprive their child from this opportunity.

Group games allow children to learn the values of team spirit. It also teaches them to cooperate with other members of the team and develop self discipline. This also enables them to face negative situation in life and make them strong when they get defeated. Many studies have proved that children playing games which have lots of violence are likely to be more short tempered and aggressive.

It is the duty of the parents to find out whether the child knows the difference between fantasy and reality. When this problem is not uprooted in the initial stages then it can take very ugly turn in child's life and they will start presuming that real life is also like the games which they play. It will have a negative impact on children mind because inappropriate games will impart wrong set of values in them. Through play children develop essential life skills; they also learn how to interact with their peers and adults. It is through play that children develop essential life skills; they learn how to interact with their peers and with adults.

There are certain benefits that child get after playing. These benefits are given below:

1. Reduces fear, anxiety, stress, irritability

2. Creates joy, intimacy, self-esteem and mastery not based on other's loss of esteem

3. Improves emotional flexibility and openness

4. Increases calmness, resilience and adaptability and ability to deal with surprise and change

5. Decreases tactile defensiveness

6. Healing process for hurts

7. Enhances feelings of acceptance of difference

8. Increases empathy, compassion, and sharing

9. Creates options and choices

10. Models relationships based on inclusion rather than exclusion

11. Alternative to aggressor-victim model of relationships

12. Decreases revenge and need for self defense

13. Improves touch and nonverbal socialization skills

14. Increases attention and attachment capacities

15. Positive emotions increase the efficiency of immune, endocrine, and cardiovascular systems

16. Decreases stress, fatigue, injury, and depression

17. Integrates sensor motor, kinesthetic and emotional responses

In conclusion every child should be allowed to play as they learn so many skills from playing, and from defeating. Play is essential for every child's development as it make them well balanced grown up and prepare with all the essential life skills needed.

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Can a bedtime routine anchor the entire day?

The components of a bedtime routine will vary, of course, from family to family, but being consistent is important for everyone in the family. I strive to balance four important things: cleaning up and getting ready for the next day getting ready for bed reviewing the day transition time with a parent.


1. Cleaning up and getting ready for the next day:

Personally I prefer having the kids clean up before dinner because it’s an easier cleaning up after dinner and toys, with a “family fifteen” or other clean up game . Whenever you clean up, I do believe that tidying up one’s personal and common space is an important habit to have (and I’m not just talking about the kids, people!)

Getting ready for the next day could mean setting out clothes for the next day, or at least just deciding what to wear. It also might involve knowing your child’s school schedule. If it’s a school night, you might want to make sure kids have what they need for the next day (is it library day? Does he need gym clothes? Does she have all her homework? Where is the backpack anyway?)


2. Actually getting ready for bed:
This is the part of the bedtime routine that is probably pretty similar from household to household. This would include at a minimum getting into jammies, brushing teeth, and putting dirty clothes in their hamper or dirty clothes basket/crate.


3. Reviewing the day together:
For me, this is the part of the bedtime routine that is tempting to blow off some days in the interest of time. It is also the most important: spending time with you. In our family, this is the part of the day where I like to go over the kids’ reward charts (true confessions: I usually don’t get to this every night) and we talk about how the day went. This generally helps with sibling relations and reduces sibling fighting, because my kids talk to each other about problems or disagreements after the emotion is behind them. We occasionally do love games and write in our day book.


4. Time with YOU
If you’re still awake at this point, it’s a nice time to have some private time with each child, even if it’s just a few minutes. This could be reading or just cuddling together and talking. Anything that gives them your undivided attention even for a short time. This is especially crucial with multiple kids.

Give these ideas a try for creating a successful bedtime routine. Like anything else, implementing a routine consistently is the key, but I bet you’ll start to look forward to this special time with your kids.

Furthermore, the more efficient your routine is, the sooner you get time for YOURSELF to recharge!

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